satire

Modern Metamorphosis

{Hi Magazine interviews ‘The Cockroach Kid’ }

Greg Small was just an ordinary 22 year old living with his parents and young sister. That is, until the day he awoke as an insect. Now he is known the world over as ‘The Cockroach Kid’. Hi Magazine went to interview him in his secret hideout.

Greg and his family are staying in a closely guarded location as the final details are put together for ‘Revelation Day’: his first live appearance. As part of the lead-up Greg agreed to tell his story. We started by asking him about the day that changed everything.

‘Well, to be honest, it was just like any other morning,’ Greg explains. ‘I woke up and lay there, dozing. I felt rough but thought that was down to the party I’d been to the night before. Thought I’d sleep it off. Looking back now my body did feel different – my skin all hard – but I was too busy coping with my hangover. It was only when I heard my sister Greta calling that I woke up proper and realised I was stuck on my back and couldn’t turn over. Then I saw I had all these legs. Jesus, I freaked!’

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Technology of Our Time

Since the power cut every clock in the house was wrong. I know – I thought – I’ll phone the speaking clock. Or TIM as my mother used to call it, which was less incongruous when the voice was male. Nothing could be easier – simply dial 123.

But things had changed. The woman was almost singing at me.

‘You have reached the Time Enquiry Service sponsored by Zedog Digital Instruments. If you have a tone phone press the star button now.’

Done.

‘Welcome to the Time Enquiry Service. If you want information about the Zedog product range, please press 1.’

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